Good news… new perspectives

Yesterday I received really good news. Actually,  not just really good, but awesomely amazing news: 

I FINALLY GOT MY TEACHING DIPLOMA!

I know this may sound no like axing big thing, but Abington work, in my industry, having such a qualification is a big deal. It means you know what you’re doing in terms of language teaching. 

I’ve been working really hard on this since 2009. It was the year my friends and I started studying for the DELTA. I couldn’t finish the program because I changed jobs and describe later on moved to China. And for a while I kinda forgot about it. But then my boss recommended the DipTesol, and I decided to give it a try.

It was intense, stressful, and time consuming. What I hadn’t really done in college  (long hours of research on top of even more hours of essay writing) I had to actually pull off during the time I did my diploma. And I was able to complete all the ground work in 6 months.

That was 3 years ago, and of course I failed one little part of the whole program. So I had a second chance to woread on this little thing. But since then I had movedone to different cities in China,  changed jobs, and had completely forgot about it. Until the course manager called and gave me two months to re-do that specific assignment once again. 

I did it.

And I honestly thought it was one of the worst samples of my writing ever.

And yesterday I got the diploma certificate.

I passed.

A couple of weeks ago,  I felt like a failure because I was sure I had failed it. And I was in  piece that I special enough to complete it well. But I did!

Now I way more confidence in myself. And I can easily focus on Management

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Re-Invention

yesterday’s feeling of being stuck was unbearable.

i honestly hate not knowing what to do next. throughout my life, everything has always been planned. since I was 12 years old, I knew what the next steps would be in my life and what I would be able to accomplish in a few months. now it’s all different and it’s definitely making me feel uncomfortable.

so I went out with my friend to this latin food festival here in shanghai. and it was absolutely amazing! it not only made me feel like i was home, but it also helped me bring out this person I was keeping hidden deep down: the party mike.

I had completely forgot how much fun party mike is. i danced as i hadn’t danced in a really long time. i had so many mojitos, caipirinhas and margaritas that by the end of the night i felt empowered (yes, it was the alcohol talking). but one thing that occurred to me came as a revelation, as an awakening.

I need a re-invention of myself.

i’m not talking about changing who i am, but changing what i do, the way i do, and define once again the path i should be taking (professionally). and I realized i need to do this while being true to myself.

funnily enough, this realization has brought some peace to my thoughts. all i have to do now is understand how the re-invention process takes place and what i need it to be like. exciting moments ahead…

In a rut?

I have been working as a teacher for pretty much all my life. Until recently when I became a manager – and when I say manager, I mean a national-level kinda manager. How did that happen?

Not sure.

I mean, I have been working really hard. I have always had career ambitions and I’m a true believer that success comes with hard work. I have also studied loads in my younger years, which has enabled me to have a good start and progression in my career.

And now I have achieved my dream job. And I feel really proud of myself. But I feel lost – where do I go from here? What’s my next step or what am I aiming for now? These things keep running wild in my head and I can’t seem to be able to find the answers.

At first I thought that becoming aware of what my current weaknesses were and working on them would be a good start. And I have been trying to tackle them. I have been spending a lot more time on numbers and reports and changing my attitude towards things to do. And I can see some progress made so far. Not impressive, but enough to know I’m getting closer to what I want to be. But I still don’t feel entirely ready for my current job and I keep feeling insecure all the time – even when my boss is giving me positive feedback.

What if I fail? Could I change the direction my career is going?

I don’t think so. I spent the little time and energy I had to complete a diploma I needed to improve my profile. However, I failed. Which means that if I want to go towards something I can identify with more easily, I have to start all over again. Could I do it? Maybe. Would I be able to do it properly? No.

So I can acquire more qualifications in management – so many distance courses online which can greatly contribute to my career. Should go for them then? Maybe, but what if they’re not the thing for me?

So I started researching what this represents in my life. What have others who have experienced this done?

Journaling. They started journalist. 

Apparently this is a good self-analysis exercise in which you slowly start understanding yourself while looking ahead to future possibilities – all based on the now and what’s passed.

Gotta give it a try then.